Last night sucked, again.

I have an appointment with my surgeon this afternoon. I spent my waking minutes this morning composing a message to myself that lays out my symptoms and situation, so I feel more confident going into that conversation.

After that, it turned out to be a really good morning; one that I think got me out of my funk. I noticed myself grouchily plodding along first thing (which isn’t helpful or fair to the kids), so instead of retreating to bed as usual, I engaged the kids a bit more – getting, in the end, some fantastic hugs from my son and playing Monopoly with my daughter for half an hour before school. After they left, I decided to do my workout and then take a shower, instead of saving them for later.

It was a really nice and stimulating change of pace from the usual. As my wife told me, I’m in bed by myself nearly all day, so anything I can do to shake up that situation will probably be beneficial.

Oh yeah, I ordered a massage gun the other day, and I’m really looking forward to it. With the lower body/quad deterioration I’m experiencing, and the anticipated challenging rehab process, I thought it would be a wise investment. According to FedEx, it will arrive on Friday.

You should see my quad. Well, actually no, no one should! My shower this morning was brace-less (2nd time – progress!) and Jesus Mary and Joseph (as they say out east) my quad is gone. “Bean pole,” I think they call it? I mean my knee (swollen, granted) is wider than my quadriceps. Pitiful.

I’m fine with it, if I’m being honest. Everything I’ve read says the shut down and atrophy are significant but the muscles will return in good time with rehab. So just take it for what it is right now.

The weather is going to turn to clouds and showers today. Me being an indoor cat now, I’m not fussed either way, but I think we need the rain.